The Wall

If you happen to be a runner, you know it as hitting the wall; that moment in the race or a long cross-country jog when you're contending with your own body. Fatigue sets in; each footfall has you wondering, "Have I got what it takes to complete this course?" If you're a writer, you've probably been confronted by a similar obstacle; in your world they call it writer's block. Now, I've never fancied myself a writer; it would seem a bit presumptuous to consider myself as such. I've loosely kept a journal over the years and I post my thoughts in this blog - nothing more ambitious than that. If I ever manage to get something published; well, maybe then I'll identify myself as a writer. 'Til then, it's just plain 'ol me!
Nonetheless, I have experienced writer's block. The simple goal of writing a few endearing thoughts in a greeting card for example, has often been thwarted by some sort of mental blockage. I set upon the task of penciling-in a clever, inspiring line or two and end up with:

Dear so & so, I just wanted to say how much you, uhm...That is...er...oh never-mind. Happy Birthday; hope you like the card I got ya!

This past week, at least five or six times I've pulled my chair up to the desk. With my gaze fixed upon the soft glow of the monitor; my fingers hovered expectantly over the keyboard, anticipating their orders from my brain - to knit characters into sentences and sentences into paragraphs...the orders never came! The cursor was blinking at the top of the empty page, mocking me; daring me to move it along to the right. Each time, I've failed to assemble even one or two cogent paragraphs. Nothing I wrote seemed the least bit relevant and I couldn't imagine anyone taking the time to read past the first sentence.
So, I crumbled up those clumsy drafts and tossed 'em over my shoulder. Instead, I've been giving some thought as to what I want to do here; better put, I've been considering what God wants me to do here. Really now, what have I got to say? How will my words edify those who read them? One thing I keep coming back to - I need to write about me. Not exclusively, mind you; I'm just not that interesting. However, I am experiencing some profound challenges in my life right now and I believe God would have me live them openly before you. I believe my words can serve to encourage, exhort, challenge, and perhaps inspire you on to a greater faith. Maybe...just maybe, the adversity in my life right now is, at least in part, for that purpose.
So having said that, look for me to post as often as it would seem appropriate - my life in real-time. I invite you to join me on a little journey. On it, there are sure to be valleys as well as peaks. I am actively seeking God's will for me and my family. My hope - my prayer is that the reader will get a glimpse into the heart of a regular, garden-variety husband and dad as he confronts the giants in his life.
Please follow this link to 1 Cor. 9: 23-27

Vacuum

Aristotle first put forth the phrase, "nature abhors a vacuum" (my wife abhors her vacuum too but that's a story for another day). The topic for this posting isn't that noisy appliance we occasionally pilot around our homes; searching for stray Cheerios and dust-bunnies. No, rather today I'm thinking about an empty space; void of all matter or substance. Such a space demands to be filled because of the tremendous weight of its surroundings. As you're sitting there, reading these words of mine, the air is pressing against you at the rate of more than a ton per square foot! Were it not for the equal pressure within your body, you'd be squashed until an equilibrium was achieved! No worries though, that's how our lungs function; the muscles of the diaphragm create a vacuum by expanding the volume of the chest cavity and the lungs receive the resulting rush of air. Try this: After exhaling, pinch your nose and seal your lips; now try and draw a breath. With your nose still plugged and the veins sticking out of your neck, glance around the room; anyone staring at you? Just tell those folks giving you the funny looks that you're doing a scientific experiment! Now, unless your body can withstand the force of five or six tons, you couldn't do it; could ya? I'm sitting here with a smirk on my face just imagining how many of you I actually got to try it!
I'll bet you never thought of yourself as a vacuum before; am I right? Well, you are; semi-voluntarily all day, every day and you have been since the doctor smacked your posterior that moment you were born! As much as I'd like to go on about our physiology, I'm actually heading in a slightly different direction; but then, you knew that already, didn't you? People are spiritual vacuums as well. By design, we must be filled in the spiritual realm every bit as much as our lungs must fill when we draw a breath in the physical realm! Jesus had something to say about the subject and you can read His words in Matt. 12:43-45.
I don't know about you, but lately I've had a very heavy heart as I've witnessed the steady decline of my people. Western culture continues to decay and has been since the systematic eradication of biblical influence began. The lights went out in Europe decades ago. Churches there are merely a shell; a mockery of what they once were. While people worry about such things as the bird flu or mad-cow disease, the really frightening pandemic spreading across our hemisphere is a spiritual one. We pushed God out of our government, our schools and yes, even our churches. The resulting void demanded it be filled; and so it was!

"But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God; holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power...always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."
2Timothy 3:1-5p,7

I look upon what the ignorant masses are so willing to worship; anyone or any thing but Jesus, and I just want to weep. When godliness is removed from a nation, there is simply no limit to the depths to which its people will descend. Finding examples of depravity in our society is an effortless pursuit. I read today of a 22 year old woman; selling her virginity to the highest bidder on the internet. Why? To raise funds to pay for her masters degree in marriage and family therapy. I'd find the irony laughable if it weren't so tragically sad.

"For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God, or give thanks; but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man..."
Romans 1: 21-23p

Do you sense as I do that we the people have given up the pursuit of a more perfect union? We've all witnessed the revelry; the exuberance and exultation the past two days as people welcome their new-found hope and change. It strikes me as profound; a nation, having forsaken the one true Savior, is so willing to put in His place; in the resulting void, a counterfeit messiah. Pray, my friends; pray fervently! Pray for the man who's been placed in such an impossible role. Pray for the people who put him on that pedestal. I hope for change as well; we call it revival.

Night at the Museum

Ben is fascinated with the "Jacob's Ladder" exhibit;
an electrical arc ascending between two electrodes.

Benjamin and I returned home a short while ago; a bit tired from our night at the museum. Sleep eluded us until well after 1:30am. Every time I glanced over at my son, he was wide-eyed; apparently fixated with the long shadows cast about the room as the ambient light fell across the various exhibits. Having all settled into our sleeping bags; voices trailing off and simmering down to a few sporadic whispers, one incessant noise remained. Some ten yards from my pillow was an exhibit demonstrating the various components of music. It was an interactive computer program where one can point and click on a piece of music; playing it in various keys and tempos. Apparently, after a few idle minutes it defaults to its starting page; some instructions on a colorful screen complete with a looping rhythm track - some sort of Latin or Mambo beat, I think. After several minutes of this, it became apparent to me that there wouldn't be a museum staffer appearing any time soon to relieve us of this torture.
Was I the only one in the room who noticed? The other group nestled in and around the display seemed oblivious to the contraption and it's obnoxious vibrations. "OK", I thought. "I'm not gonna get a minute of sleep while that machine is alive. I must kill it!" ...And I had just gotten comfortable! I crawled out of my warm bag and found my way over to the offending party; a wonderful, educational tool by day, an evil robber of slumber by night! "How do I turn this blasted gizmo off?" I mumbled under my breath. It was dark and I was fumbling around; looking for a switch; a thing-a-ma-jig; something. I moved the computer-mouse and suddenly a new screen appeared; a nice quiet screen! Relief, at last!
I tip-toed between the guys in the other group and made my way back to my section of commercial carpeting. Having settled back into a reasonably comfortable position, I laid my head back down. Thump dee dee thump, thump dee dee thump, thump dee dee thump... It was back! "That's it, where's that exhibit showing various building materials; I need to borrow a brick!" I tip-toed back over to my nemesis. "Aha, there it is; the power switch! Where were you hiding before?" The bright, colorful screen collapsed into white dot in the center of the monitor and disappeared. Vanquished! Once again, I maneuvered myself back into my bedding. I was just at that point; you know the one, where the line between awake and asleep is blurred; that's when the snoring began! Somewhere miles away, a woman was getting the best night's sleep she'd had in recent memory - her husband was with us! Either that, or the Toledo zoo was missing a walrus!
All that aside, we really did have a great time. Ben enjoyed the evening very much and I enjoyed watching him. There's nothing quite like seeing the wonder in your child's eyes as they experience something new.
Now, I think I'll go and take a nap!

Here, Ben is learning about civil engineering;
designing a sturdy bridge.

Ben and his buddy are testing the alarm circuit
they've just built.

Bed-time.

Chillin'

For the past several years, I and my boys have been involved in Scouting. My oldest son, Brad has achieved the rank of Star; two advancements shy of becoming an Eagle Scout. Benjamin, his younger brother will advance from Cub Scouts into Boy Scouts a little more than a year from now. I get in there with them as much as I can; camping and hiking being my favorite activity. The youngsters learn a variety of skills, gain knowledge and experience in safety, first aid and survival techniques during these excursions into the wild.

As I was considering what to write about today, I found that my thoughts kept returning to my boys. This is slated to be an eventful weekend for both of them. Ben and I will be spending the night at the Ann Arbor Hands-On Museum. He'll be earning his engineering pin this evening and later, we'll each claim a piece of museum floor as we bed down there for the night; tucked away in our sleeping bags among the exhibits.
Brad will be taking part in our district's annual Winter Event. He'll be camping tonight through Sunday morning; yes, we're talkin' tent camping! The overnight temperature is forecast to be minus ten degrees Fahrenheit tonight and nearly as cold Saturday night. If that weren't enough, we're told to expect 2-4 inches of fresh snow to fall during the day tomorrow. Well, this is the winter event, after all. At least he won't need his mosquito netting! Besides all the fun & games they have scheduled as the participating troops compete against each other, there are some valuable skills to be learned by the boys. Knowing how to survive in those conditions; to prepare for them, adapt to them, and even thrive in them is a valuable skill-set for anyone inclined toward the outdoors. For some of the boys, this will be their first time experiencing such extreme conditions. By the time they strike camp and head home early Sunday morning, they'll have earned their Polar Bear Patch; a distinction which both Brad and I have achieved.
About a year ago, I was gearing-up for this very same event. The weather then was nearly identical to this years'. OK, so instead of minus ten, the mercury only dropped to zero! When you venture out into such conditions; setting-up camp for an extended stay, your thinking changes. First of all, during the days leading up to your frigid adventure; checking your equipment, packing your gear, and the like, you begin to look around your home. You're surrounded by so much which keeps you warm, dry and contented. You realize that in a few hours, you'll be longing for the things you walk past each day without so much as a casual glance. You continue stuffing essentials into your trail pack all the while wondering why you or anyone for that matter would want to bed down in an ice-box!

I remember that day a year ago as Brad and I were about to embark on our icy expedition. I paused at my bedroom door, looking in at the most prominent piece of furniture inside. My wife's side of the bed would be warm and occupied while mine would be vacant. I thought, "While she adjusts her pillow and reads a few chapters before drifting off to sleep, I'll be stuffing a bunch of those chemical hand warmers down into the nether regions of my sleeping bag and settling in for a night of intermittent sleep!"

We arrived at our camp-site after dark. The vehicle doors opened and in an instant, the forest was alive with the sounds of a Boy Scout troop; the Scoutmaster barking out orders, the clatter of camp equipment being unloaded, the ringing of a hammer driving tent stakes into the frozen earth. An hour before, the woods were quiet; just a steady breeze whispering through the white pines. We set up only what was essential; the rest would wait 'til the morning.
Sleep was elusive but I was was reasonably well rested by sunup. As daylight began to illuminate my tent, I noticed that ice crystals had grown on the walls. Throughout the night, the moisture of each exhaled breath never left the confines of my polyester abode; it simply deposited itself on the interior surfaces. Apparently, the ice-box I was sleeping in didn't have a defrost feature!
In such an environment, your mind is cleared of any extraneous thought. All superfluous concerns are suspended as you focus in on your most basic needs; shelter, warmth, and nourishment. You know, in a way it was like a fast; a cleansing; a time to purge myself of the things which occupy my thought life each day. I returned home, exhausted yet refreshed. My body had worked extra hard to maintain its core temperature and it was craving sleep; sleep in that warm bed of ours. My mind was refreshed as I had quieted my soul for some thirty six hours; taking stock of how blessed I am.

Our camp site last winter.

Brad (wearing the fur hat) warming up by the fire.